A Year on .. Happy birthday Nathan! xxx

So, it’s a year exactly today, on our son’s birthday, since I was finally admitted to hospital after over two years of illness. So much has happened since then but I can remember each and every step of the long journey I’ve had to take, a journey I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
Who would have guessed after I’d been admitted and thought I was finally going to see an end to my problems that in reality, they were only just beginning? It’s the kind of case scenario you read about and hope never happens to you but when it does, you have options. Once the sheer shock of what was happening had abated, I was adamant that I would NEVER give in to this awful disease, that I would fight tooth and nail to give myself the best chance, no matter what treatment or procedures I would have to undergo.

Even so, had I been able to foresee exactly what I would have to go through, I might have panicked slightly but luckily, no crystal balls are available and so I’ve had to take each step as it comes.
No words are enough to thank the wonderfully caring staff at the Royal Marsden in Chelsea. They’ve filled our long, stressful visits with kindness, humour, truth and above all, a calming sense that all that can be done WILL be done.

After a break from chemo, which has given me time to gather my strength both physically and emotionally, I’m ready to return to the RM shortly to find out what the next steps are for me.

All I know is that I wouldn’t have got this far without the love and support of my family and close friends. I’m so proud of the way you’ve all handled such a hard, distressing year and I love you all. Xx

Look Good, Feel Better afternoon

Spent yesterday afternoon over in the MacMillan Centre at QA Hospital with a group of ladies, attending the Look Good Feel Better workshop.

“Look Good Feel Better is the only worldwide cancer support charity, providing practical support for women struggling with the side effects from cancer treatment.
Finding out you have cancer is daunting and life-changing and the added stress of the appearance related side effects of treatment can be demoralising and very hard to cope with. This can have serious consequences on self-esteem and confidence at a time when a positive attitude is very important.

Look Good Feel Better is dedicated to improving the self-esteem, confidence and wellbeing of people undergoing treatment, for any sort of cancer”
Despite everyone there being in the throes of cancer treatment and all the baggage that goes with it, the afternoon was filled with laughter as we all dug into our huge goody bags of different high class  products and learnt how to get ourselves looking (almost) how we used to be …….

I was chuffed to get a bottle of Emporio Armani “Diamonds” EDP in my bag; what a great scent!!
Anyone who’s suffering from cancer can book themselves onto one of the LGFB afternoon workshops, just contact your nearest MacMillan Centre.

Coconut water shampoo?? I'm in my element!

So …… finally back to “proper” hair washing and although it’s a bit of a novelty at the moment, can’t say I’ve really missed all the hair care palaver over the last few months, to say nothing of the money saved!!  But hair’s arrived so it must be nurtured and looked after.

Was chuffed to find this latest Organix shampoo in Boots today; not only are Organix one of my favourite shampoos but to find a coconut water bubbly was great! Those who know me know I LOVE coconut products and will always walk the extra mile to get a bottle of  pure coconut water – walking round with said smell on my head will please me indeedy ……


Dame Judy Dench, I can give you a run for your money …….

Spring update

It’s been a while since I last blogged on my site so here’s the latest updates: my chemo was doing well and had shrunk my tumours considerably but back in October, I was rushed to hospital, unable to breathe and in a lot of pain. Turns out the chemo had caused some damage to my lung and resulted in me staying in hospital for a week, with blood transfusions and CT scan. I know I was extremely ill and it wasn’t a good time for me or our family.  I was informed that if I hadn’t have gone to A & E, I would probably have died …. that’s the second time last year.  Not good. However, back up to Royal Marsden for a follow-up re. the scan results and it was decided together that I wouldn’t start chemo again for a couple of months, to allow my poor old lung to recuperate!

So, I’ve been on a break from chemo since October and how great has that been! Tastebuds and appetite back to normal, fatigue all but gone  (although I still get very tired each day) and best of all, my hair has grown back, presenting me with my new look, that of a Judy Dench look-alike!!!  Being off the chemo does have its drawbacks, however, as I’m constantly aware in the back of my mind that things could be progressing in a way I don’t want.
January 3rd, however, saw me back in A & E, delivered by ambulance this time, with severe pain in my liver area.  It was a repeat of the pain I had last summer and believe me, I think I'd rather have labour pains - at least you get something at the end of those! Bloody unbearable pain which literally took my breath away and was pretty scary.  The ambulance crew gave me Entonox (see, the parallel with labour again!) which helped and then onto the lovely morphine, which, once it kicked in, did the job.

Bloods showed that I could be suffering from an aneurysm or a kidney stone, so it was off to the CT scanner again! Both ruled out but follow-up at RM recommended, which we did and scan showed slight growth in the liver tumour but our consultant stated that nothing drastic would happen in the space of a couple of months before March so have to go along with that way of thinking.  Chemo still off the cards until March at least, so I’m  kind of living in a bubble at the moment, just waiting to see how things pan out.

But there has been some good news (apart from my hair!) On January 28th, Leah and Si presented us with our third gorgeous grandson, FREDDIE OWEN MUSTOE, at 12.04 am weighing in at 8 lb exactly.

Also, my nails, which had suffered so badly from the chemo, have also had chance to recuperate and are looking a whole heap better (although they are still slightly ridged and break sooo easily!) I’m still applying the Trind Kerotin, although not every day but it seems to have worked so I’ll stick at it.

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Chemo nail rescue!

My poor decimated nails!

One of the annoying side effects from the chemo I’m getting ( Gemcetibine and Docetaxel) is the damage I’m now seeing to my nails. Researching online, it seems the Docetaxel could be the main culprit but having a double whammy dose of chemo probably doesn’t help matters. Having spent sooo long getting my nails up to par (if you’ve read my earlier posts you’ll know I’ve battled with nail biting for years up until a couple of years ago when I decided enough was enough) and to watch my hard work go down the drain as the drugs took hold has been a bit of a blow. Still, never one to sit down and give up, I’ve researched chemo nail care and delved into products which could help restore my nails to some sort of normality.  Hopefully, this might help some of you in the same position.
Re-hydration is my main aim as my nails have gone so dry, despite using cuticle oil by the gallon. The white bits have gradually crept down my nails but strangely enough, just on both ring fingers! I’m not sure what I can do about those though …..

I’ve had no problem growing my nails throughout my ongoing chemo treatment – in fact they’ve grown like mad. I read that some people lose their nails due to Docetaxel so I guess I’m lucky in that respect.
I read some great reviews on the Swiss TRIND products and decided t0
give them a whirl  – after all I’ve got nothing to lose but healthy nails to gain. The two products I plumped for were the Nail Balsam and Nail Repair and then their Keratin Nail Restorer and Keratin Nail Protector.  I’ve had the first two products for about a week now and the latter have just arrived. Whilst ferreting around online I was reminded that nails are basically made of keratin and that restoring your nails to health meant restoring the keratin levels.  Having seen that TRIND also have keratin products I went and checked these out and decided that having some extras in my arsenal wasn’t a bad thing.

Using the products is easy: you simply apply a coat of the Balsam to clean, dry nails and leave for two minutes to soak in, then gently rub any excess into your nails. I  can see my nails absorbing the balsam!  Then, you apply a coat of the Nail Repair and allow to dry.  This helps seal in the balsam and helps strengthen your nails. Each day, you simply remove the products with a non-acetone polish remover and start the two-step process again.

Keratin Nail Restorer & Nail Protector

Already I can see some improvement in the condition of my nails and they are definitely more hydrated. On first applying the Keratin Nail Restorer, I’m really impressed at how quickly it’s absorbed and how incredibly soft and smooth my nails feel, even after one shot. I’ve left off applying the Nail Protector for a few hours as I want to apply some more of the keratin goodness throughout the day.

The keratin products are formaldehyde free although the Nail Repair does contain this. I’m not a fan of formaldehyde but on this occasion, I’m prepared to overlook this if it means my nails stand any chance of getting back to how they were pre-chemo!!